The first years of marriage are rosy for most couples. For some even those are less happy. People however learn to adjust to changed circumstances and keep the marriage working..Children come into their lives, one by one. The focus shifts to earning a living, arranging to give children the best possible life and future..then comes the marriage of those children and again the priority is to make it a grand and memorable event for them and also for the parents to feel a sense of fulfilment and achievement..They need to prove to the world that they have ARRIVED !! The grandchildren are born and time flies by..The children have carved out their own lives. The parents are by now retired and spend their time doing things that interest them and for which they have all the time in the world.
Upto now the lady has been adjusting to situations, balancing the budget, being the punching bag, shielding kids and husband alternately from massive disagreements and subsequent flare ups. She has never led a life for herself. Her kitchen was her domain and refuge at home. In the office it was her boss who she had to obey and serve..The man of the house knew or was told precious little about the difficulties in pulling together money, men and material in a household., all because he was the primary breadwinner and had to be given his peace and calm..
Now,coming to the retired years, the man wants to be a part of every little activity because he has time and needs to be busy to preserve his health. He lends his service in the kitchen, in cleaning house and in purchasing things..When this becomes a prerogative rather than genuine help, then starts the friction. He pronounces it is his right to cook, that this is the right way to wash vessels or mop the house. He will even go to the point of breathing down the lady's neck when she is cooking...how many whistles has the cooker let out?Why is the curd a little sour today. Why did you not boil some more milk, why is the washing done today, why is the bathroom not mopped after the bath?All these accusations hurled bring things to a boil. After exercising patience for many days , she starts to yell in frustration. Words are exchanged mutually and the worst events are brought up again.She has lost it all when he tells her that he has slogged for the family and all she did was sit around and belittles all her sacrifices .She starts to wonder if this was all worth it. She doesn't want to put the kids in a spot by complaining to them.Their vision of their parents is conditioned by several other factors...What is she supposed to do now? Go away to some ashram or endure this even in ones old age to meet societal norms? She still has not lost her sense of responsibility..he cannot manage anything on his own despite all the bravado speeches..So, for the sake of husband,kids and family honour, for the sake of giving him care in old age,she decides to stick around and be bogged in the quagmire called bondage..She uses one option...to stay quiet, say more prayers and observe mounavrath in most times...Is she doing right? Only God can give the verdict
Upto now the lady has been adjusting to situations, balancing the budget, being the punching bag, shielding kids and husband alternately from massive disagreements and subsequent flare ups. She has never led a life for herself. Her kitchen was her domain and refuge at home. In the office it was her boss who she had to obey and serve..The man of the house knew or was told precious little about the difficulties in pulling together money, men and material in a household., all because he was the primary breadwinner and had to be given his peace and calm..
Now,coming to the retired years, the man wants to be a part of every little activity because he has time and needs to be busy to preserve his health. He lends his service in the kitchen, in cleaning house and in purchasing things..When this becomes a prerogative rather than genuine help, then starts the friction. He pronounces it is his right to cook, that this is the right way to wash vessels or mop the house. He will even go to the point of breathing down the lady's neck when she is cooking...how many whistles has the cooker let out?Why is the curd a little sour today. Why did you not boil some more milk, why is the washing done today, why is the bathroom not mopped after the bath?All these accusations hurled bring things to a boil. After exercising patience for many days , she starts to yell in frustration. Words are exchanged mutually and the worst events are brought up again.She has lost it all when he tells her that he has slogged for the family and all she did was sit around and belittles all her sacrifices .She starts to wonder if this was all worth it. She doesn't want to put the kids in a spot by complaining to them.Their vision of their parents is conditioned by several other factors...What is she supposed to do now? Go away to some ashram or endure this even in ones old age to meet societal norms? She still has not lost her sense of responsibility..he cannot manage anything on his own despite all the bravado speeches..So, for the sake of husband,kids and family honour, for the sake of giving him care in old age,she decides to stick around and be bogged in the quagmire called bondage..She uses one option...to stay quiet, say more prayers and observe mounavrath in most times...Is she doing right? Only God can give the verdict
